


New Years Day

by malecsmidnight



Series: 3B inspired fics/codas [1]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Hopeful Ending, Hurt Magnus Bane, M/M, New Year's Eve, Post-Episode: s03 e10 Erchomai, but it gets better, happy new year, sorry its angsty
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-31
Updated: 2018-12-31
Packaged: 2019-10-01 12:02:20
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,286
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17243855
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/malecsmidnight/pseuds/malecsmidnight
Summary: "You stayed?'"Of course I stayed. Why wouldn't I?"





	New Years Day

**Author's Note:**

> Happy New Year! May 2019 bring a shadow hunters renewal.

Magnus had lived through countless New Years’. He’d seen all the parties, drank champagne until the stroke of midnight more times than he could recall. He’d made thousands of promises to make the New Year his bitch, only to fall flat within a month. After around the 400th, they began to become dull. He didn’t really see the point in celebrating a New Year anymore. Just another year of everyone around him aging. Dying. Leaving him. Another year of loneliness, heartache and alcohol- lots of it.

Still, this New Year was different. It felt special in all the wrong ways. He had minimal left, seeing as his time on Earth was now painfully limited. He hadn’t really celebrated the New year in 60 years, only shared a glass of champagne with Ragnor and Catarina and recalled all the shitiness from the past year, promising to make a difference this time. This year, though, that couldn’t happen, Catarina had Madzie to care for and Ragnor- well- Ragnor was still insistently pretending he was dead. 

Tonight, though, he would not dwell. Tonight, he would invite over the people he cared about and some people he didn’t, get ridiculously smashed and wake up with a hangover from Hell- the best way to bring in the New Year.  
-

The party, Izzy decided, was everything she ever imagined from a Magnus Bane party that wasn’t thrown for a child. Filled with gorgeous faces she could only conjure up in her Wildest Dreams, 100 different types of alcohol at an open bar, candles, glitter, music, laughter, feigned smiles of recognition and her brother standing sullenly in the corner.

“What’s up, Alec?”

He looks up, seemingly pulled from deep thought.

“He’s faking it, you know that, right?”

He nods over to Magnus, who’s sauntering around with a champagne flute and a painfully wide fake smile, speaking to every guest, some of whom he hugs, some of whom look at him in awe.- which, fair enough, he does look a little like a God. Still, Alec could see through the smiles, saw that every time Magnus downed a glass, it wasn’t for fun. He saw the way Magnus would cringe slightly whenever someone did magic. He saw through Magnus’ enthusiasm while planning the party, too, though said nothing as to not burst his bubble. He just didn’t want to see Magnus hurt, but Magnus had to stop pretending not to be.

“Talk to him.” Izzy pulls him out of his thoughts with a comforting grip on his arm and that smile that never fails to make him feel a little better. He wanted to talk to him, but he was terrified of it turning into a fight. He was terrified of losing Magnus because of his stubbornness and resentment of sharing how he feels. 

“I know it’s scary, but it needs to be done. He can’t go on like this and neither can you.” 

It’s a sort of daze in which Alec pulls himself from the wall after that conversation, long after Izzy had left him to get another drink. He finds Magnus relatively quickly in the next room, entertaining a group of strangers with a no doubt exaggerated story. He looks beautiful, and Alec decides he will talk to Magnus because he looks so much more beautiful when his smiles are real. 

For now, though, he’ll just be by his side.

He comes up beside Magnus, wrapping a casual arm around his waist with a soft smile in his direction. Magnus slows his talking to smile back and leans into Alec’s touch and somehow, Alec knows they’ll be okay. They have a lot to work through, but they’ll be okay. He knows he can’t take anymore of Magnus’ faked happiness that attempts to disguise the 3am cries in the other room or the nightmares or the excessive drinking. He knows that Magnus isn’t used to opening up, that he may not do so immediately, but he needs to make sure Magnus knows that he’s in a safe space to do so.

-

Magnus had never realized how much he’d regret throwing a party in his loft. Usually, it could all be cleaned with a flick of his wrist in a matter of seconds, but when he woke up alone on the sofa, surrounded by empty bottles of alcohol and glitter, it was like a kick in the face. He didn’t even enjoy the stupid party, everyone was drunk and he was drunk and the whole thing was pointless, because it’s now January 1st and he still feels like crap and he has a wicked hangover and an apartment to clean.

Not the best way to start to the New Year but hey, at least he made it.

But at what cost?

Deciding it was too early for those kind of thoughts, he pushed it to the back of his mind in favor of heading to the kitchen for a coffee. Luckily, someone (assumingly and hopefully Alec,) had changed him from his party outfit to sweatpants and a robe. 

When he hears a noise coming from the bedroom, he decides to check it out, assuming it’s a leftover guest who needs to be shooed out. What he doesn’t expect, however, is Alec on his knees, picking up bottles and bits of broken glass.

“You stayed?”

“Fucking christ, Magnus.” Alec startles, jumping at the sudden sight of Magnus by the door, though he’s quick to reply.

“Of course I stayed, why wouldn’t I?”

Magnus opens his mouth, but shuts it again with a self-deprecating sigh. Alec’s eyes follow him as he fully enters the room, feeling a stranger in his own home. Hesitantly, he sits on the edge of his bed, his hands folded in his lap. He sees Alec’s concern etched onto his face, to which he sighs once more. He just can’t stop hurting people, huh? 

“I just- I’m a mess, Alexander. I know you can see it, and I’m surprised you haven’t run for the hills by now. I don’t know what I’m doing, truth is, I don’t remember the last time I felt so ridiculously useless. I don’t mean to burden you with this, but I can’t keep it in any longer.”

“I know.”

Alec rises from his knees, joining Magnus and brushing their knees together, both of them staring ahead with something akin to anger, but not at each other, at the situation- at the world.

“I’m not going anywhere, Magnus. I just need you to talk to me.”

“I will.”

They sit in silence for a few moments, though it’s far from tense. In a way, it speaks more than words ever could. It’s a moment of acceptance, in which Magnus realizes he can’t do this alone, that feigning happiness and getting incredibly hammered won’t solve anything. Then, Alec rises, offering his hand to Magnus.

“Come on.”

“What are you doing?”

“We are dancing.”

“alexander, I-“ Alec cuts him off with a coy raise of his eyebrow and a smirk, to which Magnus lets out his first real laugh in months.

“There’s no music.” Even as he says it, though, he’s clutching Alec’s hand and letting himself be pulled up. 

“We don’t need it.”

Alec presses a kiss to Magnus’ forehead as they lean into each other, hands clasped and on waists, and Magnus completely leans into him, relying on Alec to carry his weight, with which he trusts him wholly. 

“Happy New Year Magnus”

“Happy New Year, Alexander.”

And for the first time ever, Magnus has real hope for the New Year, because even though they still had a lots to talk through, he and Alexander Lightwood were going to make this year their bitch, magic or no magic.


End file.
